The Head-banging Phase

Well this is a wonderful little phase that NO ONE warned me about – how could you mummy friends? How could you not warn me of this?

Jaspy has hit the not so wonderful stage of head-banging. We won’t even go into the throwing things, tantrums and selective hearing, they’re hard to deal with but at least they can’t cause physical damage.

It seems to be when he doesn’t get his own way; either he’s doing something I don’t want him to do and I stop him, or he’s trying to complete a task – shape sorters for example, and he gets stuck.

Now I know this is his frustration, he can’t tell me what’s wrong, he can’t physically do anything about it and this is his solution. I don’t quite understand if the head banging eases his frustration, like a stress ball or if he’s doing so that I’ll give him attention and help him. I mean, would he even be clever enough to do that? I know he understands a lot but does he know that it’s a behaviour I won’t like and will therefore help him to stop him doing it?

I think it’s more the first reason; he’s angry/annoyed/frustrated and that’s kind of his release. Now that’s fine if that’s his way of expressing himself but the problem is, it’s not the safest way to do so. The majority of people have recommended I ignore it. Ignore and distract are two words i’ve heard a lot lately. That’s easy enough when he’s inside and on carpet, I can give him a toy, sing a song or simply pick him up and cuddle him. It’s not so easy though, when we’re outside and he’s banging his head on concrete. He’s also taken to cupboard doors and the glass patio doors; now I know he’s not strong enough to smash the glass but I just can’t sit there and watch him banging his head on a hard surface.

When he’s done this I’ve panicked and shouted no which has worked but I think it’s making him do it more frequently as he knows it gets my attention. A lot of people have told me it’s just a phase and will pass; I know this, I’m not expecting him to still be doing it when he’s older but it doesn’t make t any easier to deal with. I feel like I’m constantly removing him from situations and it’s really upsetting for both of us.

I guess I know the answer, if he’s on a safe surface ignore if he’s been naughty and distract if he’s simply frustrated. If he’s on a dangerous surface remove and again either ignore or distract. I really appreciate all of my lovely blogger and vlogger mummy friends giving me advice and if any of you lovely readers have some then I’d love to hear, it’s really upsetting me especially as I’m off on holiday Friday for 4 days and I hate to think of him doing it while I’m not there.

Thanks for reading lovelies x



  • Alice
    5th August 2015 at 7:20 pm Reply

    This is such a frustrating one. Amelia did/sometimes does this still. I found moving her to a safe place and putting a blanket or cushions down would make sure she didn’t cause anymore harm. It honestly is just a phase of frustration where he’s battling a milestone! Hope it doesn’t last too long and keep strong mumma!!

    • Jessica
      5th August 2015 at 7:26 pm Reply

      That’s a good idea using a blanket or a pillow, sometimes I put my hand under his head but sometimes he catches my ring haha

      Thanks lovely, love to you and Amelia 🙂

  • Life & Love of Lolly (@LaurenAVarley)
    6th August 2015 at 9:16 am Reply

    Nobody has warned me of this either! I’d be terrified if Joey started banging his head on the floor, especially since most of the house his hardwood floors. I hope Jaspy passes this phase quickly x

    • Jessica
      13th August 2015 at 10:14 am Reply

      So do I lovely it’s horrible, he has calmed down a bit luckily 🙂

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Hi I’m Jess, Single Mum, Accredited Life Coach, NLP Practitioner and Beauty Business owner.

I chat about all thing female empowerment, spirituality and positivity