It’s always been a bit of a running joke that Jaspy doesn’t sleep through the night. I’m part of the #teamupallnight on Twitter. ‘How many times did he wake last night?’ is the usual question I get asked in the morning. ‘Oh only 3, well that’s an improvement’. Is it f**k.
I’m usually pretty positive about it; I make allowances, I brush it off but now it’s really getting to me. Jasper is almost one; he’s NEVER slept through the night and instead of things getting better they’ve taken a god awful nosedive the past few weeks. Yes it’s probably a phase and of course I know it will get better but my god am I hating this phase.
The wake-ups used to blend into one, I’d be tired in the morning but then I’d power through and actually feel pretty fresh. Now Jaspy is suffering terribly from eczema and dermatitis and he’s like a different baby. It didn’t bother him to begin with but now he is itching to the extent that he cuts himself, and he’s so uncomfortable bless him that he just rolls about in pain. It’s pretty awful and at 3am, quite frankly hard to deal with.
I’ve sought help before, on Twitter, through friends and even the Blissful Baby Expert but it got to the point last week, after a string of 3am mummy meltdowns, that I called the health visitor and put it bluntly ‘I need help’. I’m not sure if it was the fact that my ‘super mummy I can handle everything’ pride was damaged, or the fact that I could see a glimmer of sleep on the horizon but I broke down. I cried to the poor receptionist who (after listening to my whole blubbering story) told me she’d pass on the message to the HV; and I cried to my dad (which I NEVER do).
The HV called me back and is going to come and visit on Wednesday to try and help. I think that’s what I need, someone to look at his cot and the bedroom and be able to say ‘oh it’s too cold in here’ or, ‘try a different blanket this is too fluffy’. You get the gist. I need someone to listen to our routine, maybe even watch me try to put him down for a nap and as much as I’ll hate it, tell me what I’m doing wrong. I know I’m missing something because I’ve tried it all! I’ve changed sleep times, nap times, given more milk and less milk. I’ve stopped night feeds and introduced dream feeds. I’ve done controlled crying and rocked him to sleep. He eats plenty and he drinks plenty. He naps twice a day for around 2 hours total. I just don’t get it.
I’m happy to accept that he isn’t capable of sleeping through (although I know that the rules say he is) but when I’m met with a screaming baby who doesn’t even know what he wants, that’s when I break. I could deal with rubbing his back, giving him some water and watching him drift back off. I cannot deal with him rolling around in pain, the sound of his poor neck being scratched to pieces and going from wanting to be held to wanting to be as far away from me as possible … repeat till 5am.
His skin is another story, a long one that I’m hoping we’re coming to the bottom of. After seeing a dozen different healthcare professionals we’re looking down the route of alley testing and hoping that when that’s solved, his sleep will get easier. In the meantime, please have your fingers and toes crossed that the HV can give me some help; especially as Pete is back up North and I’m going it alone for the next few nights!
A tired Muma!