Mummy Meltdown

It’s always been a bit of a running joke that Jaspy doesn’t sleep through the night. I’m part of the #teamupallnight on Twitter. ‘How many times did he wake last night?’ is the usual question I get asked in the morning. ‘Oh only 3, well that’s an improvement’. Is it f**k.

I’m usually pretty positive about it; I make allowances, I brush it off but now it’s really getting to me. Jasper is almost one; he’s NEVER slept through the night and instead of things getting better they’ve taken a god awful nosedive the past few weeks. Yes it’s probably a phase and of course I know it will get better but my god am I hating this phase.

The wake-ups used to blend into one, I’d be tired in the morning but then I’d power through and actually feel pretty fresh. Now Jaspy is suffering terribly from eczema and dermatitis and he’s like a different baby. It didn’t bother him to begin with but now he is itching to the extent that he cuts himself, and he’s so uncomfortable bless him that he just rolls about in pain. It’s pretty awful and at 3am, quite frankly hard to deal with.

I’ve sought help before, on Twitter, through friends and even the Blissful Baby Expert but it got to the point last week, after a string of 3am mummy meltdowns, that I called the health visitor and put it bluntly ‘I need help’. I’m not sure if it was the fact that my ‘super mummy I can handle everything’ pride was damaged, or the fact that I could see a glimmer of sleep on the horizon but I broke down. I cried to the poor receptionist who (after listening to my whole blubbering story) told me she’d pass on the message to the HV; and I cried to my dad (which I NEVER do).

The HV called me back and is going to come and visit on Wednesday to try and help. I think that’s what I need, someone to look at his cot and the bedroom and be able to say ‘oh it’s too cold in here’ or, ‘try a different blanket this is too fluffy’. You get the gist. I need someone to listen to our routine, maybe even watch me try to put him down for a nap and as much as I’ll hate it, tell me what I’m doing wrong. I know I’m missing something because I’ve tried it all! I’ve changed sleep times, nap times, given more milk and less milk. I’ve stopped night feeds and introduced dream feeds. I’ve done controlled crying and rocked him to sleep. He eats plenty and he drinks plenty. He naps twice a day for around 2 hours total. I just don’t get it.

I’m happy to accept that he isn’t capable of sleeping through (although I know that the rules say he is) but when I’m met with a screaming baby who doesn’t even know what he wants, that’s when I break. I could deal with rubbing his back, giving him some water and watching him drift back off. I cannot deal with him rolling around in pain, the sound of his poor neck being scratched to pieces and going from wanting to be held to wanting to be as far away from me as possible … repeat till 5am.

His skin is another story, a long one that I’m hoping we’re coming to the bottom of. After seeing a dozen different healthcare professionals we’re looking down the route of alley testing and hoping that when that’s solved, his sleep will get easier. In the meantime, please have your fingers and toes crossed that the HV can give me some help; especially as Pete is back up North and I’m going it alone for the next few nights!

Your truly, 

A tired Muma! 

 

 

14 Comments

  • Life & Love of Lolly (@lollybond2010)
    13th April 2015 at 11:13 am Reply

    Poor you and Jasper. I hope the hv can try and make things a bit better for you. The past 2 nights Joey has been waking up at like 3/4 am rolling over onto his tummy and hitting his dummy against the side of his cot, this morning when he woke up at 4 am he’d soaked through his nappy so had to redress him. I don’t know how you’ve coped long term with him not sleeping. Fingers crossed things get better for you both.

    Lauren & Joey x

    • Jessica
      13th April 2015 at 8:16 pm Reply

      Oh on Joey, could you put a comforter or something in-between him and the cot sides so if he rolls over at least the dummy won’t make a noise? Ahh it’s so annoying when that happens, I hate it when I check on Raspy and he smells of poo. I’m always so tempted to leave him till morning but I know how sore his little bum will be. Lots of love to you and Joey x

  • Bella
    13th April 2015 at 12:43 pm Reply

    My goodness Jess I know you’re doing your best so don’t give up and keep strong that Jaspy will be well again very soon. Jay and I wish you lots of luck now more than ever. That mumma feeling of helplessness is awful but our babies are very resilient. Much love xx

    • Jessica
      13th April 2015 at 8:13 pm Reply

      You’re so right Bella, they are resilient little poppets! Thank you for your kind words, sending lots of love to you and Jay xx

  • TheLondonMum
    13th April 2015 at 1:28 pm Reply

    I hope the HV can really help you out. Much love from us xx

    • Jessica
      13th April 2015 at 8:13 pm Reply

      Thanks lovely, I hope so too!

  • The Knott Bump & Us
    13th April 2015 at 2:55 pm Reply

    Oh poor Jaspy but much much more so, poor mama! I am so sorry to hear it’s getting worse. I have EVERYTHING crossed that the HV can help and that his skin clears up soon. Must be so hard for both of you beauties. Sending lots of love xxxx

    • Jessica
      13th April 2015 at 8:15 pm Reply

      Thanks so much muma! The party wore him out a little and he slept slightly better but it’s still a nightmare! Love to you and Isly xx

  • donna
    13th April 2015 at 3:38 pm Reply

    Hi Jessica. Sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time. I really hope the HV is able to give you some guidance. It’s so hard isn’t it. My LO has had some really awful sleeping phases – mostly at the sleep regression time. Now he wakes once most nights but settles himself back over – he’s nearly 2. I think he just gets into a routine of waking as it’s always at the same time. I’ve also found that the less he sleeps the worst it gets, sort of like a viscious circle – what I do then is I literally drive around in the car at nap times so he has a really good long sleep and catches up (he sleeps well in the car). I clearly remember one night when he was around a year old having a panic attack in the middle of the night over it – the first and only one I’ve ever had and it was scary. So hard.

    As for the eczema, we had the same problem. Drs creams didn’t work but I read about a natural cream called moo goo and it really helped.

    You’re not alone and he can and will do this! Xx

    • Jessica
      23rd May 2015 at 6:36 pm Reply

      Thank you so much Donna! It’s lovely to hear from another muma who’s had the same experiences. Thankfully Jasper has just started sleeping through; his skin has gotten bad again so I’m now focusing on that again 🙂

      Hope you’re well!

  • Dianne
    13th April 2015 at 3:45 pm Reply

    Once he sleeps through the night you will forget the tough time you have had with him. Just remember Jessie………you are doing a great job x

    • Jessica
      13th April 2015 at 7:45 pm Reply

      Thanks muma 🙂

  • Hayley chall
    14th April 2015 at 3:30 am Reply

    Sending you lots of love poppet. It must be so so hard, I struggle with one wake up a night never mind it being continuous! Let’s hope they get to the bottom of his dermatitis which surely will help xxxxx

    • Jessica
      16th April 2015 at 8:08 pm Reply

      Thanks lovely, we definitely need to sort his skin out before we can get his sleep better but the HV did give us some great advice too. fingers crossed! xx

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Hi I’m Jess, a parenting, lifestyle and travel blogger. I write about all things minimalism, mum life, fitness and travel with a heap of positivity!

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