A couple of weeks ago I posted about the difficulties I’d found in making new mummy friends through baby groups and classes. Don’t get me wrong, I do have a few friends with babies already, but making new ones seems to be a tad tricky.
The first hurdle is speaking to other mums; not the odd ‘how old is he?’, ‘is this your first time here?’ chit chat, that’s relatively easy for me, but it’s the real personality chat that provokes phone numbers being exchanged and meet ups being planned – that is the tricky part.
I was really overwhelmed by the amount of other mummies who said they felt the exact same way; and a few of us made a kind of virtual pact to make friends at the next baby group/class.
I was determined; and even though I did make more of an effort to get out of my comfort zone and plucked up the courage to join in on a lovely group of mummies conversation; my efforts seemed to fall short ….. or so I thought!
When I was speaking to the 3 mummies that I met in the breastfeeding area of Kiddicare, one of them mentioned knowing someone in Dubai. In fact I think 2 of them knew someone there (my memory is pretty terrible and in new situations I tend to focus more on what I’m going to say next than on what peoples names are and what details they give).
This was a fab topic as, you may already know, I used to live there. Anyway like I mentioned in my initial post the meet was left with a vague ‘ I’m here every week if you’re around’ in the secret hope of someone asking for my number or making more of a concrete plan.
I kicked myself when I left, especially as the next week I had to rush off after my class, then we were on holiday and this week I didn’t even look in the breastfeeding area as I honestly didn’t think they would be there.
Fast forward to last night, or this morning, 4am to be precise when Jasper decided to party all night. Pete woke up after my constant shh-ing and Jasper’s cries; and checked his Facebook. He read out a private message from the partner of his old boss in Dubai and it literally made my day!
One of the ladies I had met had remembered that I said I’d lived in Dubai and messaged her friend there, on a whim, asking if she knew of a girl called Jess who recently moved home to Southampton from Dubai and had a newborn son called Jasper.
Being the small bubble that Dubai is, she knew of me through Pete (we’ve never actually met) and messaged him to tell me that they’d love for me to join their friendship group and meet up with them! I think they’d looked out for me and not seen me since, which made me realise I should have made the effort to go back to the breastfeeding area. If I’m honest I didn’t want to go incase they weren’t there, a bit of a fear of rejection I guess.
I was honestly so touched. It wasn’t that I felt like I’d been let into the cool group, that sounds really school time but it just made me feel really flattered that someone would make that much effort to welcome me. It also made me feel a bit guilty to not have made that effort myself.
Pete replied saying that I’d love to meet up with them, so I’m just waiting for her to get back to me with a telephone number and hopefully next week I’ll be updating you on some new friends 🙂
Now this is such a random event, so I’m not saying wait for this to happen because I’m sure the worlds not always this small; but I’m hoping this will help anyone who is feeling how I was, to realise that the other mummies may be feeling the same way. They may even think you’re pretty awesome and hope you’ll make the effort … so do it. Make the effort and make some lasting friendships, what have you got to loose?
Ooh I also got talking to another mummy at Hartbeeps this week who I’d seen there a couple of times before but had never spoken to. She sat next to me this time so after the class finished I asked what other classes she goes to and she recommended one at a church that she takes her little girl to. I’m gong to go to it next week – more socialising for this muma and hopefully lots of fun for Mr Jasper!
Thanks for reading