It’s been a while since I’ve written a life update. With so much going on lately; the wedding and moving house mainly, I’ve not really sat down and thought about life.
Everything got a little stressful and crazy for a while. We were happy don’t get me wrong, but we were also going at about a million miles per hour and always feeling like we were stepping backwards. Our to-do lists seemed constant, our weekends flew by without really ‘living’ them and our vocabulary was overtaken by phrases like ‘after the wedding we will’, ‘let’s wait till after we move’ and sadly ‘I can’t wait till the wedding is over so we can …’.
Well now it feels like a huge weight has been lifted. No more wedding planning, no more packing and unpacking, we’re just living. This weekend seemed to last forever because we did so much. Our main focus was on the boys, filling the weekend with fun activities for them like soft play and the farm. We also got time to go a little crazy shopping, have relaxing lazy mornings and some chilled out couple time in the evenings. I even got to have a Lush bath (I’m sure the latter made a lot of you say ‘Oh wow she must have had a good weekend then’ haha).
I’m not waking up every morning stressing and worrying about everything that I need to do now. I feel motivated, I feel ready and I feel like I can concentrate on Jasper, Pete, myself and my work rather than wanting to take Japser to the park but constantly thinking of all the work I have to do; or wanting to chill out with Pete after dinner but itching to Pinterest our wedding and new home.
I do my hair and makeup most days now; I’ve gotten back into my soaps, yep I no longer look vacantly while everyone blabs on about who killed who and who did what now!? Thanks Great British Bingo … I’m now hooked again and totally agree that Danny Dyer is number one – swoon!
I watch movies with Pete, I make more than one plan a day …. yep some days I take Jaspy to the park, meet with a friend AND go shopping – it’s like a new me!
You may be thinking ‘well this is normal Jess, nothing special’, but honestly, for me, it really is special. I was always trapped between not wanting to go out because I had so much to do and that awful guilty feeling for not taking Jasper somewhere fun and not spending time with my friends and family.
I’m not putting pressure on myself now, I know it’s good to have lazy days but while I’m feeling so light and productive I’m going to roll with it. I had a weird feeling the other day which seems so morbid to me, but what if someone close to me died tomorrow. I’d want to know that they had the most amazing life. I’d want to know that I did all I could to make them happy. I want to know that every day me and Pete love each other and have regular date nights and quality time together. I want to know that Jaspers days are filled with laughter and excitement. I want to have my family over for meals and meet with friends as regularly as possible. It makes me feel weird to even speak of these feelings but I’m sure I’m not the only one. I can’t help it but I really feel like it’s pushing me to make more of my days … that can’t be a bad thing can it?
Do you go through highs and lows? Do you wish you could do more or maybe even do less than you do now?
Thanks for reading!