A good deed – my ‘old man’ thing

While I was pregnant I had this weird thing about elderly men. Before you close this tab I’m not into sugar daddy’s, my weird thing is that they would actually make me cry!

I can’t explain it, well actually I kind of can. If I were to see an old man on his own (only on his own) I’d get emotional. I’d try not to cry in front of them, Pete made me realise how offensive that would be, but I’d well up and have to really distract myself from getting upset.

It doesn’t stem from any past experiences but all I can think is that where my dad is a typical man, as in can use a microwave and that’s about it, I worry about him if the time ever came that he’d be on his own. Obviously that will never happen but that’s the only explanation I can think of for my odd behaviour.

Women don’t worry me. Typically they can cook, clean and meet with friends for a natter but men, I just feel like it’s harder for them. It’s ridiculous I know but it started when I was pregnant and unfortunately has stuck.

I think subconsciously it was my mind telling me I was having a boy. Why else would it start during pregnancy. A kind of protective thought for my son perhaps? I don’t know.

Anyway yesterday at Asda me and Pete were eating in the cafe with Jasper and Rhys. I noticed a man sat behind me, I’d say in his late 80’s (hopefully that wouldn’t offend him). He was on his own, no food or drink, just happily sat there.

I kept thinking ‘ask him to join us, just ask him’ but I felt nervous. What if he said no or I offended him by assuming he’d need company?

I told Pete what I was thinking and he said I should ask him; I love how kind he is. Pete tried to make me feel better by saying the mans wife was in the queue but I knew that wasn’t his wife, he’d been sat there for a long time alone.

So after a few smiles I went over and asked him. I had to repeat myself 3 times before he heard me, to which he said thank you but no.

Instead of feeling fab about doing something nice I actually welled up at the table; partly because I was worried he’d think I was joking or being rude as if I’d thought he’d been staring and I was being sarcastic about joining us. I know that’s ridiculous but you know how our minds can wander. I maybe felt a little like I’d need pied off! Haha

Well about 10 minutes later a beautiful glamorous woman, again in her 80’s came over to thank me for asking her husband to join us. He’d been waiting for her while she shopped and she said that she felt bad as he never wanted any good or drink.

It felt so lovely to know that my intentions were appreciated and that he had such a stunning woman to go home with.

I’d love to think that if that were my dad, or Pete, or even Jasper or Rhys, someone would do the same for them.

I’ve been thinking a lot about being kind to others since my good friend and fellow blogger Hannah at First Time Mummy blog wrote about befriending an elderly lady with depression and how she hoped that younger people in her village would do the same when she’s older. It was really touching and so refreshing to hear. Her blog is fab and full of family life, inspiration and fab snaps of her gorgeous little man Austin!

Would you reach out to someone in your community? It’s so easy to walk on by.

Thanks for reading!

8 Comments

  • firsttimemummy1
    14th September 2014 at 9:38 pm Reply

    This was such an amazing read! I feel so proud to have you as my friend that you would think to offer a chair and a conversation to a man that could have so easily been lonely. I’m so happy to hear that even though this particular man said no, that you were not put off at the thought of doing it again. Keep offering to people you think may be in need of company and very soon it will pay off. You will be able to help somebody when no one else thought to. You are so amazing! Pete is so lovely to think of saying that to make you feel better 🙂
    Before I had Austin and when I was pregnant I used to spend a lot of spare time visiting care homes with the mums and kids at my church. We’d take the little ones there to sing songs and play instruments – the residents there loved to watch and listen – it brought such joy to their day when we visited! They looked forward to us coming each week and it was an amazing feeling. Some of them have family who could visit them, but some had none. Some had dementia and it was lovely to see them smile. When you’re settled at home, id love to visit a care home with you and the 3 boys – you’ll come away feeling amazing and like you have changed a little piece of the world. It’s such a rewarding thing!
    I’m so happy to have inspired the thought for you to even say hello to that man and im sure he has told all his friends about your lovely offer 🙂 Keep it up you’re amazing!
    Thank you for the comments and for linking to my page, what a lovely post! Xxx

    • Jessica
      1st October 2014 at 7:02 pm Reply

      I believe so much in that, that kindness will be returned the more you put it out. Not that it should be a motivator, but it’s always lovely to know that it will come back ten fold!

      Oh my goodness we’d love to join you and do that. I think that would be so amazing and something that I want the boys to grow up seeing as part of their normal lives.

      Eek we can plan something on Friday! xxx

  • Emilyandindiana
    15th September 2014 at 7:31 am Reply

    Read this with a year in my eye, what an amazing thing to do. I myself feel the same, and whenever I see Someone similar at somewhere like work I always make sure to make sure he’s ok. The boys are lucky to have such a wonderful mummy xx

    • Jessica
      30th September 2014 at 3:29 pm Reply

      Thanks so much lovely, I’d just hate to think if that was someone I knew on their own. It’s so much harder for someone on their own to reach out then someone with people. Thats lovely that you do it too, Indiana has a fab role model to look up to! xx

  • BakedPotato Mummy
    15th September 2014 at 7:44 am Reply

    Awww this is really sweet. Such a lovely thing to do. I must admit that, although I would want to, I wouldn’t have the courage to actually as a stranger to join us

    • Jessica
      30th September 2014 at 2:58 pm Reply

      I talked myself in and out of it so many times and felt so nervous even after I’d done it but I’m hoping the more I do it the easier it’ll get. The feeling after was so good and I knew I’d feel awful if I didn’t, even if he had a glam wife to take him home! haha

  • Vicky
    18th September 2014 at 8:08 pm Reply

    Such a lovely post. I get exactly the same! You are not alone. When I see an elderly man or woman, I just get this sense of sadness and guilt that they may be lonely. And sometimes I have wanted to go and talk to them but don’t want to offend them either. I think it’s lovely you went to ask him to join you and it also makes me happy that his wife was there shopping!

    • Jessica
      30th September 2014 at 2:59 pm Reply

      I know the feeling when I saw his wife was amazing, especially when I saw how fab she looked! It’s sad isn’t it, I’d hate for him to have turned around and said ‘No, how rude!’ haha

Leave a Reply

Hi I’m Jess, a parenting, lifestyle and travel blogger. I write about all things minimalism, mum life, fitness and travel with a heap of positivity!

Categories